HNY! Happy 2011!

I knew she would call. She likes me, and I think she knows I know. So she acts tough. And provokes me. Today's invitation to the party was partly wanting to spend time together for this is our last new year together, but it was part provocation too - daring me to come to a party where no one expects me to be, where I am mostly surrounded by people who either don't care about me or have already formed an opinion that I'm too good for them. So when I said, of course, why not?, I could sense the glee-cum-surprise.

I regretted saying yes to her immediately as there are too many things pending but for that very reason I just went ahead with the plan. I have decided to do things that no one expects me to do. If others can predict how I'm gonna behave in the next situation, I'm probably in a mould and need to break free. At least on evening of 31st Dec.
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Anmi wished me new year while stepping out. Asked me about my plans. He was totally totally surprised to know that I had any. Pasami's smile faded. I guess both of them assumed I would work late in lab like a dork. Which just reconfirmed my decision to go to the party and have a ball. I've plans, I say. And they drop their jaws! What an awesome start to the year :)
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I like solitude. I am alone most of the times. What I realized today is -  do something again and again, enough number of times and you'll probably be able to fool even yourself. I started off spending more and more time alone as a requirement for my work. I always had enough to do. Interesting things to do too. I never got bored when alone. I mistook it as preferring to be alone. Not true. I love company as much.
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Misa and Sh called on Visp's number to wish him, and eventually wished us too knowing that a party is sort of on and everyone is around. I was quite uncomfortable the whole time. My whole friendcircle knows her. And I think she gets undue sympathy, which is unfair. Just coz she is a girl. With her, there are too many unspoken things, but time has come to move on. It was not my mistake, so I don't need to carry the baggage.
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The knowledge that I'm gonna leave from here soon is like knowing you're gonna die soon. All my senses have become sharper and I'm breathing in more of everything than I would have done otherwise. I'm living more because I know my days are numbered. Totally here-and-now.
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Cooking, hogging, watching a movie, laughing on ridiculous jokes and UP lingo, explaining the dialogues to a tamilian friend, walking back with no trace of guilt for totally forgetting about deadlines is I would say a great way to start the new year. I wish the whole year lives upto the start it has had.