Something More That Waits In Time...

I guess certain dates work like charm when you want to break of old habits and form new ones. There was a time when I was feverish about certain dates and resolutions. For example, new year's. My b'day. Start of vacation. On those dates, I used to form a list of things I would stop doing and list of ones I would hopefully start (all over again). Then came the phase where it was uncool to make any resolution. The usual response was to utter duhh and make the person asking the question feel stupid. Life was never supposed to be taken so seriously as to change something in oneself...even to humour that query was way too appalling.

I still find it appalling, but for a different reason. As in, really?! Is that what you really wanna know? You wouldn't even bother and now suddenly this intrusive? Actually it's so commonplace that it's not even annoying. Even I have done that I guess. It's the year-end equivalent of Isn't it too cold? Yeah, you bet! A conversation filler. Most of the people are looking for a funny answer anyway, and so I have a comic respite up my sleeve. I am gonna see as many sunrises as possible in 2011. And then they laugh and we go our separate ways.

I'm out of that phase though, when it was uncool to admit to flaws and try to change them. I do have flaws, lots and lots, and I would like to rectify them. So what's the real deal? Just one. I wanna reach out more to the people I love. Every relationship comes with a give and take balance and I felt it has been tilted mostly in favour of they giving and me taking. I have been doing nothing but just shamelessly taking and taking. And it's starting to bother me. It's time to give. Whatever makes this group of people happy.

I have been noticing it for a while, but 2010 has made it clear. Life is short. And no, I don't necessarily mean it in the context of impending death, etc. The time of togetherness has become shorter and shorter. We are never gonna have as much time with each other as we did when I was a kid. So I wanna make the best use of time we have, whether near or far, in doing things that they like doing.

I am already excited by the idea.

ps. Coming to think of it, it's kinda selfish of me coz I think I am gonna get more fun out of this whole resolution stuff.