I Shall Believe

At this moment, I have nothing but my beliefs. I believe in myself, my values and my ideas. I crave for others to believe in them, but I am ready to be patient. After all, everyone holds their beliefs closer to them. My work, my ideas, may have been falling on ears that refuse to listen to new ways of doing things, but I have not given up. Not yet. If someone thinks my idea is bad, that's okay with me. The world doesn't end. One just has to keep looking for the right person. I refuse to believe that out of 6 billion+ people, not a single head would see some merit in my ideas.

On a tangent, someone close criticized me for not being a good planner. I think I am an optimist, but I do not want to think too much about tomorrow. And you know what? Future is relative. So, that criticism is anyway invalid. I plan and I do think about my future. Not as far as some people would do, but I think about the next second, next hour, tomorrow. That's my future. I can't think months ahead from now. I am neither incapable nor afraid. However, I think it steals away my present. 

So I am optimistic, but I can't/don't want to start thinking and strategize about how and when to do certain things, so that one year from now I reach someplace. That's not me. It's an absolute cliche but I want to live in the moment and enjoy everything, planned or unplanned.

Every Day Is Another Story...

Places are like people. You always want to possess them and once you do that, you want to move on. Too long with someone makes them predictable, boring and dull. And too long someplace makes it dragging, unamusing, tiresome. Clearly, anchoring to places and attaching to people is not my way of life. At least not right now. I do crave for stability in my life, but when it starts getting too comfortable and convenient, I get restless. In my dictionary, too much stability = death. So I want to move on now. I will miss some of the crazy people and wonderful places from here who/which I would probably never see or encounter again, and that makes me depressed, but I rather move on and start living than missing those who have moved on...

The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

One thing suddenly became crystal clear. Whether it is friendship or relationship, the moment it leaves the harbour, it is in deep water. Sure it feels great while it lasts. The sunlight filtering through her hair, fondling my face and warming my blood while listening to the waves dancing against the ship's keel...yes, love can make you write poems.  

But love also makes everything wobbly, uncertain. Prone to getting upturned by slightest of storms. When a Titanic happens, the Roses of this world will live and Jacks will freeze to death. It is not fair but that is how it is. And the worst part is realizing that everything that she has been yelling for past hour about how I hurt and damaged her for life is an utter lie coz the only person I could really hurt is myself.