Unfinished Business...

I was going through some old stuff while packing and came across this letter which is still unread after all these years. I glanced through it, but as always couldn't figure it out. It needs some serious deciphering. The sender must have been drugged while writing it coz it's a drawl. It's not even a proper letter, more like a scribble. I don't know what to do with it, so I keep trudging it along wherever I go, assuming one day I will gather enough courage to read it - for I know that if I put in enough effort, I can decode it, but I just cannot, and I don't want to. For one, this is the last piece I have on her. For years I couldn't even look at it without losing focus. Then when the initial crappy moments subsided, I deliberately avoided it coz I didn't want to be reminded of the past. After that came the time when I started thinking what if it turns out to be a stupid piece of shit? It might turn out to be something very simple and I might just get disappointed coz of its simplicity and that it wouldn't live upto the importance I had given it all these years. And I didn't want to remember her by some piece of paper that didn't have any gravity. So I postponed it and postponed some more and brought it till 2011. Now, I don't want to. It is better that way. It seems as if some business is still unfinished with her, that somehow she still has stuff left to say to me, that I share some secret with her which even I don't know, but as soon as it's unravelled, it will be over...but till it is veiled, I will have something to look forward to...so this piece of paper will be that one moment to look forward to. I know it's kinda diametrically opposite of moving on, but I don't want to.